One Line Signatures from the Internet
 
    * Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
    * Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
    * Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
    * I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
    * We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
    * Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
    * Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
    * The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
    * Did anyone see my lost carrier?
    * Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
    * I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
    * He who laughs last thinks slowest!
    * Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
    * "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
    * A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
    * Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
    * Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
    * There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
    * Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
    * I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
    * Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
    * Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
    * Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
    * I won't rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.
    * Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
    * Double your drive space - delete Windows!
    * What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
    * Assassins do it from behind.
    * If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
    * "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
    * Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
    * Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
    * I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
    * Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
    * I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
    * The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
    * Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
    * The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    * When there's a will, I want to be in it.
    * Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
    * Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
    * I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
    * We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
    * All generalizations are false, including this one.
    * Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    * C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
    * "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.