Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Moses: And God came down from the heavens, and he said unto the Chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road,and there was
much rejoicing.
 
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
 
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did *not* cross the road.
 
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever
think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over
the place anyway?"
 
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which
will not only cross roads, but it will lay eggs, file your important
documents AND balance your checkbook. Unfortunately, when  it  divides 3 by
2 it gets 1.4999999999.
 
Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the
road?"  But is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
 
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned  to
cross roads.
 
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him
down.
 
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free
to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
 
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for
us.
 
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why?  The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there
was.
 
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
 
Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
 
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road -- it transcended it.  

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
 
Colonel Harlan Sanders: I missed one?